When we get old...
by Flayme
Summary: The year is 2030, and allthe FF7 gang are in an old folks home! My first FF7 fic, hope ya like it, it's got a hilarious twist to the end of it! Pleeze read and review! ^_^


When we get old...  
Roses are red, violets are..err..red yellow pink green BLUE! I don't own FF, so nutz to you! This is my first FF7 fic, no flames please! Plenty of thanks to Carbuncle and Emerald Eyes, please E-mail me at Flayme@another.com , I'd like to ask you if you can be in my next fic. It's almost my birthday! So I'll be writing an FF8 special series for my birthday bash! YAY! ^_^ Anyway, let's get on with it! *_*  
  
(The year is 2031, in the middle of a maze of grey buildings there is a small white building, with a sign saying "Squaresoft inc. Final Fantasy veterans home". Inside, Cloud is sleeping in a chair, his spiky grey hair all over his face, Barret and Vincent are playing chess, and a toothless Red XIII is sleeping on the floor, his false fangs in a glass of water next to him)  
  
Cloud:Sephiroth....zzzzzzzz.......I will defeat you...zzzzz..this one's for you Aeris...zzzzzzzzz  
Vincent:Hurry up you old bastard it's almost time for my sponge bath..  
Barret:ALRIGHT ALREADY! I'm thinkin....CHECK MATE!  
(Vincent gets really pissed off, transforms into Chaos and flips the table over)  
Vincent/Chaos:GRRRR...WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WIN?!?!?!...GRRRRRRRRR!!!!  
Barret:NURSE! HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!!  
(A nurse comes running in and injects Vincent with a sedative)  
Vincent/Chaos:Down I go....zzzzz (falls over)  
(The door opens and Cid walks in)  
Cid:.........  
Cloud:zzzz....(wakes up) Hmmmm? What? Oh, it's just Cid...  
Barret:He's never been the same since Yuffie crashed the Highwind..  
Cid:HIGHWIND!!!! NOOOOO!!!! MAYDAY, WE'RE GONNA CRASH!!  
Red:(wakes up) Oh shit....you REALLY had to get him started didn't you Barret? You KNOW he's senile...  
Barret:Sorry, but I never apologise...  
Red:NURSE!!!!  
(Another nurse runs in and leads Cid away, who's gibbering like an idiot and muttering about the Highwind)  
Nurse:Stewed prunes are now benig served in the lunch room boys, think you'd better go while I calm Mr.Highwind down..  
Cid:HIGHWIND!! AGGHHHH!!!!  
(The others walk off to the lunchroom)  
  
(In the lunchroom, there's one bowl of stewed prunes left over)  
Cloud:Guess this one's for me...(grabs it)  
Barret:I belive it's mine SPIKY-ASS! (snatches it off Cloud)  
Red:You're BOTH wrong! It's MINE! (Grabs it off barret)  
Cloud:I'll FIGHT ya for it, but I'm gonna win!  
Red:You're on (puts in false fangs)  
Barret:I'll kick BOTH yo sorry asses!!!  
Cloud:(draws Ultima weapon, but falls over coz it's too heavy) Oh crap..  
Red:The prunes are MINE! (Bites Barret's leg and his teeth fall out) Oh shit I've losht me teesh..  
Barret:That's PATHETIC! (fires gun arm but misses) Dammit I forgot my specs...  
Cloud:(gets up) Limit break time! Omni..zzzzzzz (falls asleep)  
(While the others are fighting Tifa takes the prunes and sits down)  
Tifa:Why oh why do they ALWAYS do this...  
Nurse:There's a visitor to see you all...  
Tifa:I wonder who it is?  
(Flayme, age 43 walks in through the door)  
Flayme:Hi Tifa  
Tifa:Hi Flayme, how's things?  
Flayme:Well, working for Squaresoft is pretty sweet, we've just finished FF29 using Artificial Intelligence.  
Tifa:Cool  
(They hear a loud thump behind them, and Cloud, Barret and Red are on the floor, exausted)  
  
Cid:WHAT A FUCKIN RIPOFF!!!  
(The FF7 crew (exept Yuffie)are actually in a Fortune Teller's tent at a carnival)  
Fortune teller:The crystal ball never lies....  
Barret:As if THAT'S gonna happen in the next 30 years....I'm gonna go get some cotton candy..  
Cloud:Me too..  
Tifa:Me three!  
(they all leave)  
  
(Outside)  
Vincent:What a waste of 30 gil...  
Cloud:Hmmm...why does Ultima Weapon feel lighter....(looks at the sword) MY ULTIMA MATERIA'S GONE!  
Cid:WHERE'S MY FUCKIN BAHAMUT ZERO?  
Tifa:All our materia's gone!  
Barret:Well, whodunnit?  
All:YUFFIE!!!  
  
(Back inside the tent)  
Fortune teller:Hee hee hee....that one worked like a CHARM, eh Yuffie? You get it all? (lifts off her hood to reveal that she's actually....FLAYME!)  
Yuffie:(crawls out from under the table) Yup, I got it Flayme! We make a great team!  
Flayme:Wait, I hear something...(looks outside and sees the others running towards the tent) THEY KNOW! TIME FOR PLAN B!  
Yuffie:Do we HAVE to?  
Flayme:Do YOU wanna get CAUGHT?  
Yuffie:Nope.  
Flayme:Then DO IT!  
(Yuffie uses "Mini" and they both escape)  
Cloud:(runs into the tent) WHERE ARE THEY?!?!?!!?  
  
(Yuffie and Flayme are hiding behind a trash can)  
Flayme:Don't worry folks..  
Yuffie:We'll give them their materia back..  
Flayme:Later...  
Yuffie:A LOT LATER THAT IS!  
(They both laugh evilly and run off)  
  
END! ^_^  
  
  
  
  



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